Divorce Appraisals: Why You Should Always Ask Both Spouses the Same Questions

A large portion of my private work involves divorce assignments. Sometimes I’m retained before mediation. Sometimes after mediation fails. Sometimes one spouse is buying the other out. Sometimes the mediator or both attorneys jointly retain me. Every case looks a little different.

But the dynamic is always the same:

Emotions are high. Trust is low. And every detail matters.

Recently, I completed two appraisals for a divorcing couple — a primary residence and a condo. Both parties and their attorneys hired me jointly. At each inspection, I did what I always do: measure the property, document the condition, and then ask questions.

What improvements were made?
When were they completed?
Any known deficiencies?
Ages of major components?

And I made it clear: the same questions I’m asking you, I’m asking your spouse.

Not because I suspect anything specific — but because in litigation work, you have to verify everything. Assume nothing. Confirm everything.

If someone tells me the roof is new, I check permits.
If they say the bathroom was remodeled “a couple years ago,” I check prior MLS history.
If they claim the HVAC was recently replaced, I look at the serial numbers and manufacturer dates.

In divorce work, information can be incomplete, exaggerated, minimized — or just remembered incorrectly. Your job isn’t to accept statements at face value. Your job is to gather facts, cross-check them, and report what you can support.

Here’s where this gets interesting.

This couple also owned an out-of-state property that I did not appraise. The wife believed that appraisal came in significantly low. Maybe it did. Maybe it didn’t. I have no opinion on that report.

But what stuck with me was what she said:

“The appraiser up there never asked me anything. He only spoke to my husband.”

That’s all it took.

Now there’s doubt. In her mind, something feels off. Whether the appraisal was solid or not no longer matters. The perception of imbalance created suspicion.

That’s the lesson.

When you are hired jointly, you must operate transparently and inclusively. Speak with both parties. Ask both parties the same questions. Even if only one is technically your point of contact. Even if only one is present at inspection.

And here’s something important for appraisers to understand:

There is nothing improper about asking a non-client spouse about property improvements when they are present. You are not disclosing confidential information. You are gathering factual data about the property. That is entirely appropriate — especially when both parties are intended users.

Silence creates suspicion. Transparency builds credibility.

Divorce appraisals are not just about valuation theory. They are about process management. You are stepping into a legal dispute. The way you communicate is just as important as the number you conclude.

If one party feels excluded, even unintentionally, you risk undermining the trust in your report — even if your analysis is airtight.

So here’s the takeaway:

If the assignment is joint, act joint.
If both spouses are present, speak to both.
If you ask one about improvements, ask the other.
Verify everything. Document everything.

In litigation work, perception matters almost as much as support.

If you’re looking to grow your private work — whether that’s divorce, estate, probate, or other litigation-related niches — consider joining the Appraisal Referral Network.

Inside, we provide micro-lessons, real-world strategies, and step-by-step guidance on building a sustainable non-lender business. Private work isn’t just about higher fees. It’s about positioning, process, and professionalism.

If you want to expand into these niches the right way, we’ll help you get there.

Visit ReferAppraisals.com to learn more and become part of the network.