Eighty percent of my business comes from non-lender work, and about 30% of that is related to divorces. While the diversification away from lender-based appraisals is beneficial, it also brings its own set of challenges. Sometimes, these cases can be emotionally taxing, and other times, they require you to provide more than just professional expertise—sometimes, you need to offer emotional support. That’s what I want to talk about today.
When I was a member of the National Association of Divorce Professionals, I learned a lot about the divorce process. One key takeaway was understanding how the brain works under stress and how to handle clients going through such intense situations. This knowledge has been invaluable because I often see these scenarios play out with my clients.
A few weeks ago, I met with a woman in her mid-50s going through a divorce. Her husband had moved out, and she shared with me that they had been married for over 25 years. She discovered through her Ring camera that her husband was bringing another woman to their home while she was away. This woman turned out to be his childhood girlfriend, with whom he had reconnected and had secretly been giving money to for years. By the time she got to this part of the story, she was in tears and visibly distraught. At that moment, my role as an appraiser took a backseat, and I had to be there as a supportive listener. All you can do in such situations is be present and let the client express their emotions until they’re ready to proceed.
It’s heartbreaking to hear these stories, and it can be tough to separate your feelings from your professional responsibilities. However, it’s crucial to remain impartial when determining the property’s value. It’s okay to empathize with a client, but you must set aside those emotions when providing an objective appraisal.
Despite the emotional challenges, I find divorce appraisals rewarding because they can bring resolution to a difficult situation. For many, the home is the most significant asset, and knowing its actual value—not relying on estimates from sites like Zillow or Redfin—can help expedite settlements. I’ve seen couples argue throughout my time at a property, witnessed a spouse physically assault the other, and, most painfully, seen families with young children go through the distress of divorce. While the diversity of non-lender work is valuable, it certainly comes with its own unique challenges.
If you’re interested in learning more about private appraisals and divorce assignments, consider joining the Appraisal Referral Network at ReferAppraisals.com. We offer both free and paid memberships, and it’s a great way to connect with fellow appraisers and grow your expertise in this niche field.
Daniel Lindeman
Appraisal Referral Network
